I been hibernating

Cos I haven't had much of interest to say and my compy is in my cold, cold room. I realise I am practically the only person alive who still owns a desktop, (and thus am chained to the chilly regions of an unheated room when the warm, sunny climes of Heat Pump in Lounge call seductively), but someone's got to put the "ooooo" (imagine someone shaking their head) in "retro".

It's been such a long time that I posted anything wordy on here that I think I might have actually forgotten how to write. What does one put on a blog these days, anyway? Suggestions for posts are welcome.

I might take this time and space to relate a story of stupidity. I might even give it a moral, just for the edification (yup that's a real word) of all you crazy kids out there. It involves bikes and slippery grass.

The other day I was biking to work and running slightly late. I went through Hagley park, (the sporty bit, not the bit most people bike through), since it's a short cut. Just as I got to the park, I noticed an old Chinese couple biking in front of me. This couple are regulars, in a way: I see them at least a few days during the week, and sometimes we nod or smile at each other. The notable things about this couple are:

1. they bike appallingly slowly. When I say slow, I mean I've seen walkers pass them. Not power walkers, just "out for a bit of a leg-stretch" walkers. Most of the time cyclists pass them, and I do too. They're the only recreational cyclists around at that time of the morning, and the rest of us are rushing to work. I think they enjoy their leisurely mornings, and why not?

2. they take up the entire path because they always ride double-file. A note that may come in handy later on: they never pull over to let people pass. Ever.

So there I was: drizzly morning, fast bike, human roadblocks, ticking watch. I did what any psyched-with-stress cyclist would do: I raced off the path and onto the grass to go around them and overtake them. Except that I didn't. The particular part of the grass I had chosen on this particular day had a slight solid edge to it. Which I didn't see until my front wheel hit it. O. Shi-

I sighed, flew over my handlebars, and went a good few metres before I thwacked into the ground on top of my bike and slid a metre or two more. (It had been raining a week solid prior to this, so there was more sliding and squelching than usual). I have a particular knack for losing consciousness whenever I fly and collide with things, so I was out for a bit. When I got up, I was sodden and sore.

The Chinese couple asked if I was OK and kindly pointed out that my chain was off. I spent the next five minutes angrily getting my numb fingers to shove the chain back on, to the background noise of the Chinese couple's advice.
"Oooh, slow! You bike too fast. Next time, slower!"
"Thanks", I mumbled, and added the lamest explanation ever: "I'm late for work". They clearly thought I was a bit weird. I mean, biking faster than a walker? Madness!
"If I biked as slow as you I'd be a corpse by the time I got anywhere", I thought. I was kind of pissed off. But at least they were nice.

It wasn't til I got back on my bike and shakily pedalled off that I realised my gears didn't work and neither did my breaks: they were full of mud and grass. My back wheel was locked up and it took nearly twice as long to get to work.

In the end, I was late to work and a bit grumpy. Fortunately I only had a few minor scrapes, although my neck and shoulders have been bloody sore ever since. One of my breaks is now functioning (hurrah!), so even though I can only go at one speed, I can also stop. This a Very Good Thing. Sadly I've lost my front light, so no more lurking I mean biking in the dark for me. (Don't worry, I'm getting my bike fixed this weekend).

So, the moral of the story? Hmmmm, how about don't overtake when the grass is wet? Or, don't overtake when there's something that'll hit the wheel? Or you know, just don't bike to work :P